Monday, November 21, 2011

Love, Me.

My dear friend,

This might be one of the most difficult things I've ever had to write.  As we approach thanksgiving, as well as the upcoming December month, I know a lot of hearts are continuing to break as we miss you from our lives; However, although brief, I'm thankful for the time that I did get to spend with you.  You were one of my first crushes...the "bad boy" if you will..we were nothing alike, yet I "worshiped" you from afar.  I'm not sure how many people I've ever admitted that to.  Although we were very different, you were someone I could talk to, could share experiences with, laugh with.  We grew apart some as we grew older, our families did as well; I always regretted that.  We were just different, but somehow the two of us managed to keep in touch.  Two summers ago, the last time I saw you, I can still remember the conversations we had together and I probably always will.  I'm thankful that although our families all miss your presence sometimes too much to bear, that we have all reconnected and are able to strengthen our "family bond" once again.  Your presence is always there, I can always feel you near.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate every sign and blessing you have sent my way.  I pray to you that you still continue to send them to myself and as well as those who truly need them.  I ask you to keep an eye on all of us here and to keep us sane until we can finally see you again.  I love you so much.. <3

Love always,

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


I'm not big on change, never have been.  My mother will back me up on this.  I don't like any type of change really, it's just not something I handle well at all.  That's probably why this year, my senior year of college, has been so terribly difficult for me.  When I can't really handle the seasons changing, the time changing (because I'm blind), and small issues like that, how can I be expected to handle a huge change in my life such as graduating from college, in say, oh, 6 months? 

Lately we've had even bigger changes in our small college community.  Our president, that we haven't even had more than a year and a half has resigned.  He shook my hand and hugged me at our awards service, then I find out the very same afternoon that he's resigned?  Somethings not right.  Some say they're happy with his absence, but I can't say I agree.  He always spoke to students on campus, asked us our opinions, and genuinely seemed to care about what we wanted to see happen within our small community of students and faculty.  I've also been told it's not important per say for me to personally know the person handing me my college diploma, but I disagree.  In a small community such as this, I find it's very important to have a personal relationship with the "higher-ups," so in an effort to try to be positive about the situation, I plan on getting to know our "acting" president, because it's highly doubtful our college will see a new president within the next 6 months.  Today I was finally given closure on the issue when someone finally decided to tell me a little more of the truth when it came to everything that happened.  I respect that, because all of us here are adults and should be treated as such when it comes to the place we spend the majority of our time. 

Walking back from class today, as I'm headed to my room, I hear the usual chimes in the distance that play on the hour for our campus.  Whether we have a president now or not, whether or not I'm here in 6 months, none of those things will effect the bells significance to our community.  The chimes will play on, as should I. 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Slipping Through My Fingers..

First of all, I know before even writing this that I'll probably be crying before it's finished.  I got the title from this blog from a song from "Mamma Mia," Which coincidentally I watched twice last week.  The whole movie is amazing, and not just because I love musicals.  I don't believe there's a song that I don't like in that movie.  Anyways, I'm getting off topic.  There's a song that applies particularly to my life right now, and some of the lyrics go as follows:

"Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it"

Although this is referring to marriage, it still applies to me right now.  I started off my senior year of college with high expectations.  I wanted another possible internship, I wanted to head the school paper, I wanted to be more productive, I wanted to make each and every moment count.  So far, I've had no luck finding a paid internship (which I desperately need for it to be paid).  I'm not the head of the paper, but I am one of the senior correspondents which only one other person, aside from myself, can say.  I haven't been very productive and as for making each moment count...?  Well, I should have known this would happen.  Instead of relishing in the fact that I should be making this the year of my life, I've become melancholy.  Example..."This is my last (fill in blank)."  It's really depressing.  I'm trying so hard not to let it get me down, but the feeling just keeps returning.  I'm the oldest of my group of friends, so unfortunately I'm having to share these feelings alone.  They keep telling me I should be thrilled to finally be done with school and to do what I want, but I don't feel that way.  These past 3 years (not counting my freshman year) have been amazing.  I've made such great friendships, and learned so much about myself, although some things I could have lived without knowing.  I just pray for the guidance to help me make the best of this before it's over...considering one semester has almost already come & gone.  Anybody got a tissue?

Monday, September 19, 2011

"You are not junk, but you are a project..."

Maybe it's just the recent "Fall" weather we've been having, but it makes me want to blog constantly.  It's even gotten to the point to as I'm walking to/from my classes, my mind is busily writing before I can even get to a computer to type.  My brain needs to realize I don't have too much of a memory during a school semester ;) 

Yesterday, we began a new series at my church titled "Restored."  The first part yesterday was "God's Salvage Yard."  As human begins, we enjoy the process of restoration.  It's always fun to take something the world may see as completely irreparable and make it brand new.  Maybe that's why I enjoy the editing process so much as a writer.  I enjoy taking something I already thought to be "good enough," yet changing and tweaking it until it becomes even better than I thought it to be in the first place. 

Jesus' ministry wasn't for those who were the "first" so to speak.  He went to the least of these, the lost; that was whom His ministry was for.  As Christians, that what we all should be doing; going to those that may need us to step out of our comfort zones in order to help.  What happens to a car that never gets rescued? Eventually, they are crushed, melted down, and thrown into a junk heap to be used as recycled metal.  In a way, that's what happens when we as Christians don't help to bring people to God.  On judgement day, they will be thrown to the side as could we, and thrown into a lake of fire. God looks at each of us the same; we are all His children and he is constantly trying to lead our hearts to Him.

As we look in the mirror, in our eyes, we see many dents, rust, and corrosion on ourselves, but God doesn't see that when he looks at us.  In His eyes, he sees our potential, what we could be. We're God's everlasting projects.  That is such a relief to me.  I see so many things on myself every day that I need to work on, fix, change, in order to not only be the person God wants me to be, but the person that I, myself would like to be.  But in order for God to salvage us, He has to go all the way down to our core and begin from the inside out.  God starts with our engine (our hearts) and works on us until we are as He sees fit.  I'm so thankful to belong to a God who will never give up on me, no matter how many times I may fall down; He'll never leave my side.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Tonight I rediscovered how amazing it feels when God shows you something that He wants you to do in your life.  I will admit to not recognizing these signs nearly as often as I should, but tonight it became all too clear.  I only wish I'd seen the signs sooner.  I can only pray that God gives me the wisdom to handle His will in the way I should..until then, guess I'll keep praying :)

Only Time Will Tell..

I woke almost as suddenly as I had gone to sleep that night.  I couldn't figure out what might possibly wake me up at 3:00 in the morning, until I looked down to a recent missed call on my phone from an old friend.  I knew before reading her text message that something was off..little did I know how much.  As I listened to her on the other end of the phone, it was like I was seeing myself from a distance, but not at all in my body. There had been an accident of a good friend of mine, a childhood friend, and it didn't look good.  Little did I know my worst nightmare would be happening.  As I tried to grasp how something so tragic could affect someone this young, a good boy, with a great family; a family who had been around my family since before I can even remember.  Why do things happen to good people?  Does everything really happen for a reason?  Where was God during this tragedy?

These are some of the questions we've been discussing at my church this past month.  As each question was addressed, my mind always returns to my dear friend.  I've been through so many emotions these past 9 months.  Why would God take someone who was loved by so many people, not to mention in the dawn of his young life?  What good could possibly come out of this?  A lot of Christians are taught not to question God in times of despair or crisis and that by doing so you're not allowing yourself to have faith in God, but in reality it's the exact opposite.  God is big enough to handle our questions.  He's not finished in our lives, and doesn't cause bad things to happen in them, but no matter what, will bring good out of our misfortunes.  

When tragedies such as the one in my life occur, the common phrase that is used to "mend" our pain is "Everything happens for a reason."  What they really mean to say is that everything happens for a divine reason. By saying that, it assigns everything that happens in this world to God.  My personal belief, although some may beg to differ, is that God doesn't cause bad things to happen in our lives; sometimes bad things just happen.  However, God does use these bad situations to bend them and shape them into His will for our lives.

So where was God when these terrible things happen in our lives? As my pastor described, I, just as many others have been in tough times, felt as if I was left alone in complete darkness, searching for all the answers I knew I might never get.  There are three reasons that bad things could happen in our lives.  The first, is that humans have free will.  God allows this, and allows us to make our choices because a love that is forced isn't love at all.  These choices that we make can be sinful, which in turn leads to a fallen creation.  Luckily, God is still working on creation constantly and will never give up on us.  The ultimate show of arrogance is to blame God for our choices.  The answers to my questions, as well as to yours when it comes to times of tragedy and unfortunate circumstances wont ever give any of us any comfort.  The only source that can bring comfort is God and His love. 

I may never have the answers to why one of my good friends was killed.  His family and loved ones won't ever get the answers that will comfort them, or more importantly bring him back to all of us, however throughout everything God will be there with us guiding us through the tough times in our lives and molding us into the will that He has layed out before us.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Right Where I Belong

For the past few weeks (more so closer to the past month or so) I've seen signs everywhere. I know they're meant for me...sometimes you just know. I won't go into great detail about what these signs are. I'm just not quite ready to let go of that type of information yet. Today however, was no exception. It might have started off as just a normal Sunday- get up, get ready, and head to church. I had to keep the nursery this morning, but when I was finally able to head to the service, I entered the fellowship hall where it's held and heard a specific song (also one of my signs). I sat down to save seats for my friends who would be there shortly. The sermon series we've started this week is entitled "Why." Throughout the next 3 weeks we'll be talking about why God allows bad things to happen to good people, why life throws you curveballs you just weren't expecting, etc. Today really hit home. It brought up some painful memories, but ones that were needed in order to hear what God really needed me to this morning. I had chill bumps the entire service. Normally I'd try to calm these, but for today, I really just didn't mind. I then noticed that the very person sitting in front of me was someone that although I don't talk to very often, was someone who I felt needed me this morning. As I sat behind her, I felt her pain. We both shared the same thoughts without making eye contact. It's just one of those things you just know. I realize to someone who doesn't know me very well or even if you do, this all might not make a bit of sense or matter to anyone, but me but for today, I felt like I was right where I belonged..

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I'll be seeing you.

With each passing day, I seem to miss you more. It just doesn't seem fair to me..I'm having fun without you & I desperately wish that you were here having fun with everyone too. The whole gang is back together, but minus one. I know it's selfish of me to keep wishing you were here, when you're so much better off, and I'm constantly trying to work on that. I see your signs everywhere. Each day they seem to become more and more frequent. I love them, so please don't stop sending them my way. They help me to know that you're sending your love down for all of us to enjoy. I keep replaying some of our last conversations & I know you're laughing at me for all of the crazy things that I do. Until we meet again, I'll be seeing you...


I feel like it's way past due for another post. Honestly, I don't know why I haven't written in so's like I'm stuck in a "rut" and not really sure how to climb my way back out of it at this point. But here goes nothing...

My last summer before I'm thrown into the "real world" as they like to call it is more than half way over. I'd like to say I've accomplished a lot so far, but I can't really say that I have. To be honest, when I didn't get the first job I applied for this summer, my world was a little rocked. I put myself out there to get it, and when I didn't, I guess it kind of put me in a slump. I thought that I'd enjoy not doing much of anything this summer and simply to enjoy the last real summer I had, would be good enough...and for some instances it is. I've been able to enjoy spending time out on the lake with my family, having the option to spend time with my friends whenever, and even was able to spend the week of my 21st birthday with my aunt, which I wouldn't have traded for anything. I guess I just feel somewhat useless sometimes.

A good friend of mine recently moved into the house with me for the remainder of the summer which has been nice, but seeing her work every day doesn't make me feel any better about my situation. Lol I guess I should start trying to be more productive.

Maybe the real reason for this post is that my family has been gone for the majority of the summer. I've enjoyed my freedom of being home alone & coming & going as I please, but I do miss them a lot. Especially my little brother, who means the world to me. It's hard to believe that this time next year, he will have graduated from high school, and me from college. I haven't quite come to terms with either yet.

The good news is that I'm excited/anxious to begin my last year of college. I've got some amazing friends & I'm really going to try to put myself out there this year & enjoy every experience that is thrown my way. Hopefully that will lead to bigger & better things..until then...I'll keep writing more :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


It's been an overall frustrating sort of day. I've felt like writing in this blog for quite some time yet, but haven't had much to say or didn't know where to start. Today has been full of my entire range of emotions-- happiness, anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment..okay, you get the picture. I've been in the process of taking down my stuff in my dorm room and every few days taking as much home in my car as I could. My walls are now bare, with the exception of my pictures- those are always the last to go. I can't live in a place where I have no pictures, that's unacceptable. I also found out that I'll be done a week from Friday with my junior year. Although it puts me one step closer to graduation (which I'm totally not ready for by the way), I deserve a break. A long break. One free of school work and the stress of having to get things done on a timeline. I need time to be with friends, family, and finally some time with my boyfriend whom I never get to see anymore. I miss my brother & I'll be so happy to see him every day. I'm also frustrated because I feel like I'm the only person who enjoys making plans and sticking to them. I look around and even things that don't even concern me frustrate me..people make deadlines they don't ever intend to keep, don't show up to class because they neglected to do something for that day, or just simple things such as saying they'll do something then they don't. I had to get away for a while, so I went home. It was peaceful. I just sat down on the couch & did absolutely nothing...and didn't feel bad about it because I really did just need that time. MY time. I'm hoping to find something to do once I get out of school next weekend..maybe see the best friend, take a weekend trip somewhere? I'm not sure...I need to figure out what to do. I'm sorry if this turned into more of a rambling, but sometimes it's necessary. Here's to the rest of this short week and a lovely weekend at home for Easter with my family :)

Monday, March 28, 2011


I wrote this a little before spring break just because it was close to my heart as he usually is, but I decided to enter it in for the college literary magazine that I was featured in twice last year. Unfortunately it didn't make the cut this year, so I thought I should at least share it with my followers on here. It doesn't make it any less special to me :) Enjoy..

We used to fight most ever day,

Almost to a tee;

"Those toys are mine, don't touch my stuff,

Why are you always following me?"

When I think back now, it makes me sad

How much time I fought with you.

Now I can't imagine a boy who could

Be my brother, quite like you can do.

I may not tell you quite enough,

How much you mean to me.

I love it when you call me "sister,"

I hope than you can see.

Thank you for being who you are,

And doing what you do;

No one else can ever take

That place in my heart for you. <3

Well, anyone who knows me will understand the reference to calling me "sister" and why the title of the poem is simply "Brother." It may not have been picked simply because it wasn't very clear, but then most ways I express myself whether through here or other social media, I just simply do it for myself :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Amongst the Rubble

These past few weeks of school have been very stressful. I've had numerous things come up without warning, and simply cannot be in one million places at once. It's been really hard for me to keep everything balanced and this week especially I've had several breakdowns because of this. I was actually on my way home this afternoon to grab a few things and then to meet a family member, when I flipped from my current CD to 89.7 WMHK just because for some reason I felt led to. After the current song had finished playing, the talk show hosts at the time began talking. The woman speaking told a story of her and her son in which they'd recently been walking by an old downtown park which was under reconstruction. "Looking out over the park amongst the rubble, I could barely recognize the park." This made her sad because she had experienced many memories with her children there. They were breaking down the park to build a newer, nicer one. She then went on to say that that experience is a lot like life...God breaks us down to nothing but rubble sometimes; our lives feel like they're crashing down around us, but what we don't see is what God is doing amongst the rubble to break us down & make us brand new. I immediately felt tears running down my face. I then knew why I needed to hear that. No matter how stressed and run down my schedule/life may seem at this point, what I don't see are the workings that are taking place underneath it all. I look forward to the mystery that will soon be revealed.


I just recently watched a video my pastor posted on facebook of our youth group & how they recently travled out of state to perform at a youth conference to hundreds of youth. After watching the video, I was reminded how blessed I am to belong to a church that is so welcoming & beneficial to every age group, the way I feel it should be. I first began attending with a friend in middle school & have been there ver since. My family are now members as well as several family friends of ours. It's amazing how well the children who go to church here are brought up in the bible, encouraged as youth & grow up to be wonderful testimoies. I personally don't think I could have made it this far in my college years without this church. I look forward every sunday to waking up & traveling with my friends for the church service. It's honestly the best part of my week that I know will never change. I'm blessed to be able to stay in constant communication with my pastor through text messages, email, phone calls, or even personal visits when needed. He recently met with me to discuss a paper I'm writing for a religion calss. I was so stressed about the paper, life in general at this point in the semester when I showed up, but when I left, I just felt so relieved. Just talking through my paper, and also about various life events helped me to calm down and realize everything will be okay. I've never felt so at home as I do in that church.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Have a Blessed Day!

Sorry if this turns into more of a boring story of my life, but I really just want to express what a wonderful day I've had today!

I started off exhausted although I got a good nights sleep. Before my first class, I received a phone call for an interview I was trying to set up for an article for the local paper here. She wanted to meet up today, during my already crazy Wednesday, but I agreed. I got yelled at by my professor who I told in advance I'd be late to his class because of said interview, but look...there's not much I can do. When a story presents itself, it's my journalistic nature to grab it. And I will always be thankful I did.

The woman I met with was the mother of a 15 year old boy with cerebral palsy who has been helping out our college football team. I got to meet her, as well as her son. To just see his face light up when someone talked to him will forever stay with me. He was just so full of life. Instead of letting his disability hold him back, he embraced it saying CP stands for Collossal Personality, not Cerebral Palsy.

I also had a wonderful conversation with my pastor this afternoon that will greatly help me with my upcoming religion paper. It was great to get his point of view and relate it back to what I've learned in my class so far. It's just been a great day so far and I just feel so blessed this afternoon. I hope that you all have a blessed day as well!! God Bless!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Having a Beautiful Heart

Tonight in FCA we talked about stress and the different ways we can deal with those types of situations in our lives. We all went around and shared things that have recently happened or that are occuring now that we could take time to pray for each problem/stress that seemed to be occuring in someone's life. I spoke up and shared my experience of how awful it is to have lost a friend so young in his life over Christmas break. There were other experiences such as mine mentioned as well as schoolwork. Another friend of mine spoke up and said she struggles with trying to hard to make people like her. I didn't think too much about it until I got back to my room and turned on my iTunes to hear "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz.

To summarize the chorus it basically says that God loves you for who you are, who He made you to be. That you shouldn't stress about how the world sees you or what you look like to other people. Every time I hear that song I just can't understand why our world today is so caught up in what people think of them...always having to have the "latest" something to make us "feel happier." If it's not having the latest thing or wearing the latest thing, we always feel like we have to try to make someone like us and maybe even sacrifice who we are in order to reach that aspiration. That very thing that I don't understand is something I struggle with on a pretty big basis. It's not that I don't feel like I'm pretty or that I don't have a good group of friends. I have wonderful friends, family, and a boyfriend who makes me feel beautiful but sometimes I guess I just get caught up too much in wordly things.

I'm not too big on New Year's Resolutions, but I decided a while back that mine for this year was going to try to be to become more confident in who I am as a person and that when I look in the mirror every morning to see myself as God is seeing me, not as the world may see me.

1 Samuel 16:7 says, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Remembering Will..

"It doesn't happen overnight, but you turn around and a month's gone get a little bit stronger." -Sara Evans

Although the lyrics above aren't exactly about losing a friend, I found them appropriate. Yesterday marked the one month mark that I lost one of my good friends to a tragic car accident. I wasn't up to writing this blog yesterday, but I do feel that one is much deserved so here goes nothing. (I apologize in advance if theres rambling.)

I can't say, like in the song, that a month has gone by and I haven't cried for my friend. I miss him looking through old photographs, talking w/ friends, and especially when reminiscing with his family. He and I were closer when we were younger...I'll even admit to having the hugest crush on him during those days. He was the "bad boy" that every girl somewhat wants, yet never admits. His twin brother is actually more like myself, but when you're younger, who wants that? ;-)

I click on his facebook page from time to time, curious as to those who still write on it. I would, but it's just not as therapeutic for me as it is for others, idk why. I then clicked on the "See friendship" link underneath our names. It's not very much, no pictures to speak of (most of our pictures came before the time of facebook.) It recognizes that we became facebook friends in August of 2008 as well as several of the things we both "like." One of those being the lake not too far between both our houses. It's hard to imagine that he'll never ride with his family on my family's boat again; I'll never see him at another baseball game; he'll never come over to my house again to hit baseballs with my brother; etc. Is it possible that I'm still in some sort of denial after all this time? Or is it that I've received signs that everything's okay and that I have a strong enough faith at this point in my life to realize that he's much better off than I am right now?

We had such beautiful snow this week. My mind was constantly on him as I watched the snowflakes drift slowly to the ground. I wonder if God's angels can have snowball fights? Or what snow looks like from heaven looking down on Earth...I can only imagine.

My boyfriend has been making me watch a serious of television shows with him the past 2 weeks. I've been in and out of paying attention to them except for last night, while I was contemplating writing this blog, I heard a line that caught my attention:

"Endings are hard. But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?"

I really liked this line. My friendship with Will hasn't ended, it's not gone. Sure, I may only have the old memories at this time but someday I'll see his smiling face again and I'm sure it'll be like no time had passed between us. Until then, I pray that he's not making too much trouble in heaven, and continues to watch out for us down here...

Monday, January 10, 2011

Thoughts to Smile About

This week has been full of moments that made me smile. They're not listed in any certain order, just as they come to my mind.

-- Quietly listening from my upstairs bedroom as my brother came home from school...the first thing he asked dad was where I was :) I love him so much!

-- Reminiscing old memories of a recently lost friend with his family and friends over dinner..

-- Waking up to snow outside my window

-- The running hug I received from one of my best friends when she moved back into school.

-- Picking on my boyfriend for slipping and falling, then 2 seconds later, falling down myself.

-- The long hugs I received from my family before I went back to school

-- The "I love you sister" I received from my brother yesterday

-- "Sledding" down the hills of snow at school on large rubbermaid tops

-- The text from my brother at 2 am asking me if I was awake & to look out my window at the blizzard of snow we were getting.

-- A long text message conversation with my best friend when I was upset about a few things.

-- My parents surprising me by coming out to dinner with my friends and I my first night back at school.

-- A comforting hug from my boyfriend when stress got the best of me.

These are just a few of the many things I've been thankful for this past week. This semester is looking up already. I miss my family and miss the days I used to play in snow like this with them, but I've enjoyed being with my friends as well. Happy Snow everyone!

Monday, January 3, 2011


A great conversation that I had tonight when I thought my night had ended well, but then the other conversation when it was slightly shaken has helped remind me just how lucky I am..

I remember the first week of classes at good old WU. I didn't really know anyone yet, except for a small number of the girls on my hall at the time. I was lucky enough to have a class or 2 with some of these girls until one class I was unfortunate to walk across the seemingly large campus alone to my next class. I walk in (decently early, but still..) to a room of 70+ individuals who of course stare the freshman walking in the side door. It was very overwhelming so to avoid further awkwardness I sat down on the front row to a girl I recognized but didn't actually know. (I guess when you actually recognized people from around campus it was a good sign).

I sit down and she introduces herself, as do I and we find out we live across the hall from eachother in our dorm. Relieved, I make conversation for a few minutes before class starts. Afterwards, she and I walk back to the dorm together which involves more conversation. We agree that it would be wise if we studied together and then compare class schedules since our majors were the same. Honestly, for a while I knew we were friends, but I never thought she and I connected the way she seemed to with other girls. I was slightly discouraged, but just to have one friend seemed good to me at the time so we continued our friendship.

After first semester, just as I felt us getting closer she transferred. Surprisingly we still kept in touch via skype and texting and such. The following semester, I myself transfered because I just wasn't happy AT ALL. I never thought that she and I would see each other several times throughout the year and keep up w/ a "turn" schedule of who would make the trip to see who next. No matter the distance, we've managed to keep in touch via texting, skype, telephone, and personal visits. We've always remembered birthdays & even "anniversaries." I don't think she'll know how greatful I am to have her always be there for the "big" stuff that I need her for. <3 you ninja!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Potter's Hands

Something I've always wanted to try is pottery. I find the process fascinating. The ability to mold the clay just as you want it in order to create something that's all your own. Maybe one of these days I'll actually get around to doing that or taking a class or something.

I almost didn't make it to church this morning. I will admit to staying up pretty late last night and had an awful headache and just didn't feel like myself, but I climbed out of bed anyways in hopes that a shower would help me feel better. Boy am I glad I didn't stay home. God really spoke to me this morning. It was like a slap in the face to myself as well as some of the other young people at my table this morning when a video was played during the service about what life would be like if we treated our Bibles like our cell phones- constantly carrying them around with us, checking them for new messages, etc. I'll admit to carrying my Bible with me a good bit (especially since I have it downloaded on my phone as well as my new kindle) but I know I should/could do better. Anyways, I'm rambling. We talked about trying to transform ourselves in this new year, but that it was a slow process, could be painful, and is most definitely not in our power.

The final song say today was The Potters really stuck with me so I looked up the process of pottery. The first thing you do is prepare the clay. God formed us and knew us before we were even born, he prepared the way for us to be here. The next step is placing the clay on the wheel and press the pedal at your own speed. God is constantly working on us, "molding" us closer to Him and what He would like for us to be. It's all in his time though, so it could be a slower process for some than for others, just like it's up to the potter how slow they want to create their work of art. As the clay spins around, the potter shapes it with his hands. Once it's complete, the process is still not done. There are little tools used to chip and shave the imperfections as the potter sees fit. I'd like to think that's what God does with us. Just when we think that we're where we should be, He "chips" off our little imperfections to make us even stronger and more like Him.