Friday, April 20, 2012


I can't believe it's been almost 4 weeks since my last post - my apologies.  What's worse is that 2 weeks from tomorrow, I'll offcially be a college graduate.  Wow, that's scary.  It feels like only yesterday my parents were dropping me off at my dorm room, waving goodbye, tears in my mom's eyes. 

I'm not at all ready for graduation, although if I knew where my future was headed I think I might be a little more excited.  I can't lie to myself and say that I haven't been excited at some points recently.  I mean, it is exciting to know that all your hard work - the late nights, the stressful papers, and assignments, that it's all been worthwhile.  I just know that no amount of excitement can compare to the emptiness I already feel in my heart from leaving this place.  I've made some incredible friends, whom without, this journey would not have been near this exciting.  I have also had some wonderful experiences in my field of study. 

As I look around my dorm room, things slowly disappearing off the walls as my roommate and I prepare to go home for the summer, I can't help but get teary-eyed that I can never have this again.  I try not to get into the mode that no one understands how I feel, but a lot of times I really don't think they do.  I pray that God will soon show me His plans for me so that I can start to focus on my future so that my past doesn't become a painful memory of something I can't return to.  I 'd much rather look back on these days with fondness and smiles.

Sorry for the rambling..I'm sure I'll have more to say in 2 weeks, and I'll try to make it more organized :)