Tuesday, August 31, 2010

You Are Beautiful

Theres a song by Jonny Diaz called "More Beautiful You" that I was just listening to and had to share. The chorus goes as follows...

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises, and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose, that only you can do
So there could never be a more beautiful you.

Sometimes I doubt myself, as everyone one of us does. There are so many distractions to get caught up in, so many "lies" this world is telling everyone, but especially women. That you have to look a certain way, wear a certain size, etc to be beautiful. Recently a friend of mine shared a story with me that reminded me of this. She too, doubted how beautiful she really was and it became a huge distraction in her life. I'm happy to say that things are going much better now, but when I look at her, I just cant see how she could have ever thought she was anything but beautiful. I guess that's just the way the world wants us to feel. That way, you'll buy their product, or whatever it is that it takes to keep the business world alive. The only thing that really matters is that you have a beautiful heart, full of love for others and for God.

Who Will I Be?

This morning in my PR class, my professor went around the room and asked every single person why there were in the communications program. The answers varied. When he came to me, I simply told him I had always loved to write (this was the shortened version because we were short on time).

When I tell someone I've "always loved to write," that is definitely not an exaggeration. I mean sure, I had those childhood dreams of becoming things like a ballerina, and I even recall wanting to be an art teacher at one point; but I have ALWAYS wrote. Mom likes to tell the stories of traveling to tailgate at the Carolina football games and when time came to go into the stadium I had a bag full of pencils, crayons, and paper. These were not for coloring...I simply sat there and took notes on the game...who was winning and what inning, that kind of thing. As lame as it may sound, it all makes sense as to what God's plan has truly been in my life all along. I've never really wanted anything more than to write. When other kids were playing video games, I was writing stories on construction paper, drawing the illustrations, and binding books together out of ribbon or staples. It's what I loved. Mom says before I even really knew how to write, I was telling stories and begging her to write them down on paper for me so that I wouldn't lose the ideas.

So to answer my professors question...I've always loved to write and have never really had a choice as to what I needed to do. Writing is my passion and the one thing that I feel that I have to express myself. I feel truly blessed to have been given this opportunity of sharing words to whomever will listen.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Thoughts of You

Today has been a day of ups and downs from beginning to end. The day began with a wonderful surprise from a good friend of mine, but unfortunately it seems as if it will end on a low note.

Tonight my friends invited me to BCM (baptist campus ministry) on campus. I remembered them all going last semester, but I never really went because I guess the main reason was that I wasn't Baptist. I now know that that is not important for this particular group. Their main goal is Fellowship, Love, and Christ. I had a great time...it was nice to be surrounded by other Christians on campus and to share our experiences, sing songs, have devotionals, and even play games.

It was just amazing to me as I looked around the circle of teenagers worshiping God when there are so many other things to do in a college community. It was refreshing to see no one playing with cell phones or distracted by many other technologies, but yet instead to simply share in the fellowship of fellow Christians. I look forward to going back every week for a similar worship experience.

I left BCM feeling revived and refreshed and almost on top of the world. I should have known it wouldn't take long for the devil to try to bring down these feelings and almost leave me in tears. Thankfully I am reminded of a song that we sang tonight that I'll share with you...

When the darkness closes in,
And I'm on my knees again,

I call your name,
I call your name,
'Cause it is the sweetest name I know,

This part of the song "Call Your Name" is truly what can get anyone through the tough times in their life. I'm hoping it will help me tonight, as well as other nights and that anyone stumbling across this blog will find it useful also. Until next time...God bless!

Thursday, August 26, 2010


Finally! I moved back into school on Monday and since then I've had such a range of emotions. I got to the school super early for registration just because I honestly couldn't wait any longer. I'm determined to make my junior year the best one yet. Although it took alllll day, I got settled into my new dorm room. I'm still adding some final touches, but soon it will be everything I hoped.

I'm on a floor with most of the friends I never got to see last year, except for in class. So far I've had about every meal w/ them and gone out with them a couple times. It seems to be going well and I couldn't be happier. I may have my own dorm room this year (which I love), but I'm definitely not alone here.

My classes have been pretty okay. I don't know too many people in them, but hey...that just means I can branch out and meet new people. Most of my classes (with like 1 exception) are in my major/minor range, so I'm loving every minute of it. There will definitely be more projects and harder assignments this semester, but I'm bracing myself for it. More updates to come in the life of a college student :)

Undiscovered Dreams

Just a little something I got caught up in writing during my class today. (yes, I know, I should pay attention, but it was very hard for me today...)

What's right for me,
I'll have to see--
just what the future holds.

The options are many,
but how will I choose
the path that makes me complete?

So until I see
what's right for me,
I'll keep my head held high.

I'll reach for the stars,
never lowering the bar,
to show all that I can be.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sleep deprivation.

As I sit here at 1:00 in the morning, I can't help but wonder why in the world it is I can't sleep. I haven't done anything today that was physically or mentally exhausting...what is the deal? The only thing that I can come up with is just that I try too much. I try too hard to keep everything together. I try so hard to plan everything out for everybody and you know what? It's exhausting. I don't know how to stop. I've honestly been trying for years. It's gotten a little better within the past few years, and even more in the past few months or so. Maybe it's just that it's because I'm not at school right now and so it's harder to just "go with the flow" like I tend to do there. Gosh how I miss school...it's so close, yet not quite close enough. Until then, I must find some way to sleep :-/