I'll be seeing you.

With each passing day, I seem to miss you more. It just doesn't seem fair to me..I'm having fun without you & I desperately wish that you were here having fun with everyone too. The whole gang is back together, but minus one. I know it's selfish of me to keep wishing you were here, when you're so much better off, and I'm constantly trying to work on that. I see your signs everywhere. Each day they seem to become more and more frequent. I love them, so please don't stop sending them my way. They help me to know that you're sending your love down for all of us to enjoy. I keep replaying some of our last conversations & I know you're laughing at me for all of the crazy things that I do. Until we meet again, I'll be seeing you...

Blah.

I feel like it's way past due for another post. Honestly, I don't know why I haven't written in so long..it's like I'm stuck in a "rut" and not really sure how to climb my way back out of it at this point. But here goes nothing...

My last summer before I'm thrown into the "real world" as they like to call it is more than half way over. I'd like to say I've accomplished a lot so far, but I can't really say that I have. To be honest, when I didn't get the first job I applied for this summer, my world was a little rocked. I put myself out there to get it, and when I didn't, I guess it kind of put me in a slump. I thought that I'd enjoy not doing much of anything this summer and simply to enjoy the last real summer I had, would be good enough...and for some instances it is. I've been able to enjoy spending time out on the lake with my family, having the option to spend time with my friends whenever, and even was able to spend the week of my 21st birthday with my aunt, which I wouldn't have traded for anything. I guess I just feel somewhat useless sometimes.

A good friend of mine recently moved into the house with me for the remainder of the summer which has been nice, but seeing her work every day doesn't make me feel any better about my situation. Lol I guess I should start trying to be more productive.

Maybe the real reason for this post is that my family has been gone for the majority of the summer. I've enjoyed my freedom of being home alone & coming & going as I please, but I do miss them a lot. Especially my little brother, who means the world to me. It's hard to believe that this time next year, he will have graduated from high school, and me from college. I haven't quite come to terms with either yet.

The good news is that I'm excited/anxious to begin my last year of college. I've got some amazing friends & I'm really going to try to put myself out there this year & enjoy every experience that is thrown my way. Hopefully that will lead to bigger & better things..until then...I'll keep writing more :)