Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Slipping Through My Fingers..

First of all, I know before even writing this that I'll probably be crying before it's finished.  I got the title from this blog from a song from "Mamma Mia," Which coincidentally I watched twice last week.  The whole movie is amazing, and not just because I love musicals.  I don't believe there's a song that I don't like in that movie.  Anyways, I'm getting off topic.  There's a song that applies particularly to my life right now, and some of the lyrics go as follows:

"Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it"

Although this is referring to marriage, it still applies to me right now.  I started off my senior year of college with high expectations.  I wanted another possible internship, I wanted to head the school paper, I wanted to be more productive, I wanted to make each and every moment count.  So far, I've had no luck finding a paid internship (which I desperately need for it to be paid).  I'm not the head of the paper, but I am one of the senior correspondents which only one other person, aside from myself, can say.  I haven't been very productive and as for making each moment count...?  Well, I should have known this would happen.  Instead of relishing in the fact that I should be making this the year of my life, I've become melancholy.  Example..."This is my last (fill in blank)."  It's really depressing.  I'm trying so hard not to let it get me down, but the feeling just keeps returning.  I'm the oldest of my group of friends, so unfortunately I'm having to share these feelings alone.  They keep telling me I should be thrilled to finally be done with school and to do what I want, but I don't feel that way.  These past 3 years (not counting my freshman year) have been amazing.  I've made such great friendships, and learned so much about myself, although some things I could have lived without knowing.  I just pray for the guidance to help me make the best of this before it's over...considering one semester has almost already come & gone.  Anybody got a tissue?